Tonight’s episode was all at once epic and uncomfortable. The RHOBH walks a fine line between icky and riveting, leaning more toward riveting. Some things you can only see on Bravo, and I love it. There was excess, sentimentality, laughs, awkward pauses and fighting. That, my friends, a well rounded show makes.
We started with Lisa in her kitchen in the whitest blouse I have ever seen, paired with denim. Ken enters wearing the same attire. I suppose this is their lounge-wear…I generally cook in sweats and an old Tom Petty concert tee, but different strokes… They looked like they were ready to head to The Picture People for a fully coordinated family photo, but alas, they were just cooking. Lisa made potato salad, showing she is the People’s Diva…you know, rich people eat potato salad too…we’re all the same. They were actually preparing for a dinner party for Lisa’s daughter, Pandora and her perfectly creased boyfriend. There was a touching moment when the two announced their engagement and I swear I saw Jiggy, at his tablesetting, fist pump.
Next we pop in on Taylor in her kitchen. She was making cookies. BECAUSE SHE EATS! Dana came over to help make cookies and put on an apron. The ladies talked about how hard batter is to stir and planning a game night. I couldn’t even really focus on their words because I was distracted by all the hair being flipped around. I could think of nothing except the fact that there might be hair in the cookie batter. We clearly live in separate worlds. Dana left after her 3 minute visit agreeing to host the game night because apparently she used to be a party planner or something. Taylor exhaled because, in a moment of clarity, she realized that if stirring cookie dough was too much there was no way she would be able to pull of a game night. Good call, Taylor.
Game night arrives and Kyle and Brandi arrived first. Dana announced the designer that made her lacy shorts and then appeared to say that Valentino himself came over to deliver them to her. Taylor called her out on her exaggeration and Dana covered tracks by saying, oh no, my STYLIST was just over. Dana ~ you need to reign in the elaboration. Especially when you are standing in the middle of a barely furnished home. I might go as far to say that the $25,000 you spent on sunglasses could have bought you a house full of furniture over at Ikea. Just sayin.
Kyle and Brandi got stuck in the waiting room together for countless minutes not talking and glancing at each other only while Dana clomped around in her Fendi’s. Kyle seems very hostile towards Brandi, which I still don’t get. Is it because her son peed on the grass? Pah-leeze Kyle.
As the women arrived they all were rightfully sidetracked by the “lavish”
pool dessert table in the center of the room. It was a very odd set up…a domino sculpture out of cauliflower maybe, flanked by 4 breadsticks and 3 olives. I am thinking that the “vendors” Dana was going to call on were named Whole and Foods.
Then Kim arrived. Poor Kim. Very confused about Dana’s name she calls her Pam and steps in the house. Her power must still be out because her shirt was on backwards or something and her make up was smeared all over her face. Kyle jumps in and swoops her in to the bathroom.
It all went downhill from here. Kim spent most of the evening in the bathroom with Kyle chasing after her. I did feel bad for Kyle, she obviously felt responsible for her sister. But when the game playing started any allegiance I had to Kyle before this episode left the building. Trying to deflect from her wacky sister she started picking on Brandi, sitting in the corner. Kim hid her crutches and they constantly were loud-whispering about Brandi the entire evening.
You could see that Brandi was only going to be able to hold her tongue for so long…which I kinda of have to give it to her. When Kyle finally decided to play “IQ test” she pointed at Brandi and said “You first!” Now, “You, first” certainly aren’t mean words, but the way Kyle snapped at Brandi with them was super aggressive and off-putting. Brandi replied with a “Bring it, bitch” and the poop hit the fan. Kyle went crazy and then Kim went crazy. But worst of all Dana… she hopped on the “Be mean to Brandi” train faster than the conductor could punch her ticket. She is so desperate to be Kyle’s friend, whom she has known just as long as Brandi has, she started pretending she was offended by Brandi’s existence. She is the ultimate “wanna-be” and me no likey.
Brandi is not a good arguer…so she has that against her. You would have thought with all the silence for her that evening she could have thought of some possible “come-back” scenarios. But she just resigned to a mostly passive-aggressive strategy.
The episode ended with the women all up in each other’s faces, so I can’t wait to see how it ends next week. Plus we get me me a oddly effeminate wedding planner that Lisa hires for her daughter’s wedding.
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills airs every Monday on Bravo at 9/8 central.