The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills ~ Episode 18 Recap

This episode was all sorts of awkward.

It was an hour-long PSA for the dangers of drug use.

I’m not naming names.

 

The episode opened up to the couples still on their Hawaiian vacay.

Paul and Adrienne got a little romantic on top of a cliff all while arguing about the presence of snakes.  These two are funny.

Meanwhile , Mauricio and Kyle decided to order some room service, birthday margaritas.  As soon as their cocktails were delivered and Mauricio spoke in Hawaiian to to room service lady, Kyle heard her sister, Kim, and her troll, Ken arrive at the hotel…a quick press of her ear to the wall and she was privy to every unintelligible word that Kim uttered.

 

We cut to the couples meeting for a birthday dinner for Mauricio.  We see Lisa’s Ken brushing his fluffy, feathered hair and Lisa adjusting her pink bra straps.  It’s a fine line between super rich and fancy Beverly Hills people and the trailer park folk, apparently.

A Hawaiian gentleman blows a conch shell to open the festivities and the couples follow him to the table.  Brandi makes a joke about “blowing” and “following” and I giggle.  Kinda love Brandi.

A good 15-20 minutes late, Troll Ken and Kim make their appearance, and I tuned out slightly, completely mesmerized by Ken’s selection of Cabana wear, but came-to quickly enough to dry heave after he told Kim that she was his “lei”.

Upon their arrival to the dinner table they were peppered with questions from the couples wanting to know why they were so late to the island…Kim told everyone that Ken had to work, to which all the couples were confused, because apparently Ken has retired from his job, scaring children under the bridge.  Does he just fill in for random trolls when they call on sick?  How does part-time Troll-work work? Do Trolls get paid by the hour or do they get paid in magical coins?  AHHH, the questions I have!

Kyle and Mauricio get visibly upset because Kim and Ken aren’t being truthful and Mauricio makes an awkward toast to “the truth setting you free”.

Kyle decides this is the perfect time to announce to the group that Taylor and Russell are divorcing, which sparked conversation around the table doubting that it would really happen.  Obviously knowing the outcome of the situation it was kind of uncomfortable to watch.

 

The next day the group was set to spend the day on a catamaran.  They all sat on the party bus for about 30 minutes, waiting again on Kim and Ken.  Finally Kyle and Lisa decided they would go fetch them from their room.  They knocked, they yelled, they even scaled walls to get the couple to answer the door.  Lisa, wearing a cute fedora, was very worried about walking in on them “humping”, and Kyle informed Lisa that no one calls it that anymore.  Noted.

The couple eventually answered the door saying how their alarm clock didn’t go off, their wake up call never came and their phones were all dead.  Let me tell you…that can all be  translated into, I am high and/or hungover so leave me be.

Lisa and Kyle walked away quite aggravated and decided to leave without the Troll and his mistress.

Kim and Ken got themselves out of the hotel fast enough to watch the catamaran sail away without them.  They returned to the hotel and repeated over and over how, “Everything happens for a reason”.  Yes.  That is true, Kim.  You missed the boat because you were hungover and didn’t set your alarm.  That is the reason.

They spent the day smacking on edamame together on the balcony and Ken told Kim that the group better “respect her, or else”.  “Or else” what?  What I wouldn’t give for a Ken/Mauricio throw-down.

But just to let you know, the day on the balcony was “just what they needed”.  You know, in case you were wondering.

 

Meanwhile on the catamaran the group had fun snorkeling and ogling Brandi in her bikini.  Her tush, alone, was something to behold.  Just the facts.

Back on the mainland Taylor and Dana had lunch together.   Taylor opened up to Dana, telling her that her marriage was over.  Dana was in full-support mode and, well…that is all.

 

Later that night they all met up for another birthday meal for Mauricio. Adrienne and Paul were casually talking to Kim when Ken came up and confronted Adrienne in a super aggressive fashion.  He said something weird like Adrienne was looking at him in an unpleasing way and he didn’t like it.  Further solidifying the fact that Troll Ken, is indeed a troll.  The thing about that is, take him out from under his bridge he loses his powers and just comes across as an odd man with a weird chip on his shoulder.  Plus, Adrienne could whoop his butt.

The dinner went from bad to worse when the lateness issues resurfaced.  Kim made some weird analogy about Kyle beating an egg, which I think she meant beating a dead horse, but horses, eggs…who’s counting.

Kyle let them know that they have been rude the entire trip, to which Ken retorted the super witty comeback, “We don’t care”.  Annnnd scene.

You would think Ken, having the whole entire day sitting on the balcony, would have come up with something better than “we don’t care”, but I know that trolls aren’t offered the same schooling as humans, so speaking might be harder for him than the rest of us.  I really should be more conscientious.

Brandi was the only person at the table with the cojones to address the crystal meth elephant in the room and everyone sat around all uncomfortable-like not knowing what to do.

 

Next week we go back to Beverly Hills where we see evidence of the the abuse Taylor has been alleging to.

 

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is on every Monday at 10 pm EST on Bravo

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Comments

  1. 1

    Um, this might be my favorite wrap-up ever. Contrary to Ken, I do care.

  2. 2

    I love the last screenshot. If anyone ever gets a picture of my raised eyebrow face I want to see it so I can laugh at myself.

  3. 3
    Brianna says:

    I look forward to your commentary on this every week, you rock :)

  4. 4

    I am totally sucked in to this trainwreck of a show. Why doesn’t anyone in Beverly Hills just call it like it is?? So frustrating!!! Can’t wait until next week! :o)

  5. 5
    Shannon says:

    My husband and I (yes he says I “make” him watch it, even though he screams at me if I start it without him) nearly fell off the couch laughing when Paul was just saying to Kim and Adrienne the he thinks Ken seems like a really nice guys, then up walks Ken and flips out about “you were making a face that said you didn’t want me hearing the bad things you were saying about me”. HAHAHAHAHA…. guess Paul spoke just a little too soon! Im glad you recap these episodes because you always manage to catch stuff in the episodes that I didn’t! OH… I was watching Good Morning America the other day and swear troll Ken was doing a segment, but alas it was one of their contributors “Jim Avila”. I bet they are twins, although Jim doesn’t have that “shock” factor when you first see him.

  6. 6

    Almost spit out my water when I got to this: “Ken has retired from his job, scaring children under the bridge. Does he just fill in for random trolls when they call on sick? How does part-time Troll-work work? Do Trolls get paid by the hour or do they get paid in magical coins? ”

    Thank you for that laugh!

  7. 7
    Michelle says:

    L-O-V-E this! Did you catch how Kim kept calling Mauricio Maurice?? Like, over and over?? Hello, do you know this man!? Crack me up!

  8. 8
    Hayley says:

    I agree with Bridget, this has to be the funniest recap ever! Bravo… er, good job!

    Troll Ken… he is just something else. Not sure what’s going on with him or his cabana wear but then again, it could have something to do with the magical crystal troll powder he and Kim have been bingeing on since, forever. Will Kim ever form a comprehensible sentence? She’s turning into the female version of Ozzy Osbourne. And no, I would NOT be surprised if she chewed off a bat head, thank you.

    Also: Taylor black eye? Whoooaaaaa. Russell is, by far, the creepiest character on RHOBH because he’s so… eerily chill all the time. That limo ride from the last episode? SCARY. He was way too calm and when they shut the door I was like OHHHHHH S%!$, stuff’s about to go dooooown. Yikes!!

  9. 9
    christina says:

    I love your troll comments, but it is true Ken (a.k.a. Troll) and Kim were being rude and disrespectful to the whole group!

  10. 10
    Regina Smith says:

    I looooove your troll comments! They are HI-larious!!! I crack up whenever I read your Beverly Hills recaps! Thanks for making me laugh!

  11. 11

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