I am a few weeks behind on the RHBH Recaps, but trust me, I have been watching.
There has been all sorts of awesome drama to report on, so in the spirit of catching up to live I will just hit on some of the highlights.
Episode 18, The one with Lisa’s restaurant opening.
This episode revolved around Lisa’s new restaurant SUR and it’s opening party.
SUR stands for “Sexy, Unique Restaurant”, which, can I just say is a lame name. If SUR stood for “Smart Ukrainian Robot” I might be slightly more intrigued… just sayin’.
The usual suspects arrived at the opening of SUR: Kyle and Mauricio, Taylor and her therapist, Kim, Ken and her vibrator, Brandi and Sober House Jen…you know, everyone.
A surprise guest at the restaurant opening was Chef Bernie. Lisa proved how inconsequential Bernie is to her life by simply not remembering who he was and Bernie went along his merry way looking like he had sucked on a load of sour grapes.
The first bit of drama happened when one of Lisa’s waitresses was discovered to be a mistress of Brandi’s ex husband, Eddie Cibrian. Lisa did the classy thing and asked her to leave. Love Lisa.
THEN Lisa’s former house guest and BFF, Cedric decided to show up in the world’s most thinly veiled publicity stunt. BUT it was fun watching him talk without his lips moving. If he needs a job, might I suggest a ventriloquist? He has it DOWN. His face is completely frozen in 2010, it was awesome.
Backtracking a little bit I do have to comment on Kim and Ken in the hotel room prior to the party. They packed just about every single article of clothing both of them own for an overnight trip. I have to eat some crow here, because as much as I despise Ken, he came across as not only normal but I actually FELT for the guy. Dealing with Kim, obviously in the throws of her addiction must have been an exercise in self control. When he commented on her busted up shoes I about peed my pants.
Their limo ride over to the party was like a drug-haze version of the movie Big. Look a moon roof! Look the windows go up and down! I half expected her to pull out a mini corn on the cob and eat it, type-writer style.
The remainder of the episode was focused on Kim announcing that she is pregnant at the ripe old age of 66, Kyle crying without her mascara budging and Kim telling everyone who would listen that Ken is a horrible human being (shocker!) and that she is moving out.
The next episode, the season finale, was all about Pandora’s wedding.
I don’t have too much to say about this episode because, quite frankly, the wedding was lovely.
Highlights were Paul’s colonoscopy and the repetitive breaking wind that apparently follows a colonoscopy, Giggy’s creepy/adorable tuxedo, a $9,500 cake, the cameo made by LaToya Jackson, Camille’s new Greek boyfriend and Paul’s sweet dance moves.
I have to say that I was skeptical on whether or not Kevin, the “chi chi chi” wedding coordinator could pull it off, but apparently when you spend 1 million dollars on a wedding, things turn out nicely. Who knew?
Ken’s speech to Pandora was a little awkward, but completely endearing.
The only snarky comment I can make is, why in the world did Pandora do the robot walk down the aisle? I literally rewound it 3 times to watch her Mr. Roboto impression to Canon in D Major.
Now to catch us up to date we have had 2 episodes of the reunion show.
Please tell me you watched.
I am going to break it down, snippet-style, Part 1 and 2:
Apparently all the ladies hate Lisa now.
Adrienne’s pink lipstick is incredibly distracting.
Maloof-Hoof is apparently very offensive.
Lisa has moved to a different home.
Adrienne accuses Lisa of selling stories to Radar online.
Lisa doesn’t have butt implants.
Brandi stands her ground.
Kyle is all at once apologizing, but completely unapologetic.
Camille is the nice housewife.
Taylor is basically off-limits until Brandi shows up.
Brandi = awesome.
Kyle STILL apologizes, completely unapologetically.
Brandi calls Taylor out on writing a book 2 seconds after Russell died.
Kyle tells Brandi to “Give it a Rest” when Brandi calls her out on, well everything.
And Taylor gets a free pass all night. Ugh.
Next week the reunion picks up with Dana showing up and an “intimate” interview with Kim post-rehab.
I would love to hear your thoughts…catching up on 4 episodes in one post is tough!!