Big Brother ~ Week 5

While last week was a good drama week, filled with back-dooring and lies, this week was pretty standard Big Brother…

Let me fill you in if you missed out.



Sunday picked up right where we left off after Janelle got evicted and Frank won HoH.  After last week’s formation of the “Silent Six” alliance, most of the house felt secure with Frank in power.  Joe was definitely on the outside looking in as he realized he was the only vote cast to save Janelle.  He yelled in the confessional some more calling all the houseguests “despicable human filth”.   The thing is, you never know when Joe is actually angry, because he yells everything, always.  In this case, I will go with anger.

I have to touch on this next thing really quick…we were privy to an “intimate” conversation between Shane and Danielle.   Danielle obviously wants more from Shane, but says she doesn’t, and Shane just flirts with her, because there is no one left in the house other than her to flirt with.  He TELLS her it’s because he’s “scared of relationships” which we all know translates into “I don’t want a relationship with YOU”.  She tells him that she is ALSO scared of relationships and we all roll our eyes in unison, because, well, duh…

Then Shane asks her if she wants some of the “Shan-O-Mac” and I had to excuse myself from the living room to dry heave over the sink.  The “Shane-O-Mac”?  First off, that sounds like a hamburger.  Second, Shane has less game than Mike Boogie, which says a lot.  and third…CBS made a #shaneomac HASHTAG!  Stop the insanity CBS!  #shaneomac is not and will never be a thing.  You can’t give yourself a semi-hamburger name and try to come off as cool, when you wear a 1987 shell necklace and a pink tank top.  BTW, why haven’t we discussed THAT yet?

Moving on.

Brittany and Boogie sat outside talking game and the conversation came up about Danielle and how they were suspicious of her being a “kindergarten teacher”. They both deduced that she must be some form of nurse based on some medical terminology she unknowingly dropped along the way.  The two were more stumped over the fact that she would claim to be a teacher over a nurse rather than worry that her stealthy nursing skills might give her a leg up in this game.  Worst job-lie ever Danielle.

On a side-note that night Ashley got injured sleeping.  It happens.

The next day they had a Have/Have-Not comp.  The all had to dress up like citrus fruit, roll around in lemonade and try to squeeze the most juice out of each other’s costumes faster than the other team.  Of course the squeezing led to lots of humping, thrusting and grinding, which is always a staple in BB competitions.

The limes won, which meant that Danielle, Brittany, Jen, Joe and Shane were the Have-Nots for the week.

Frank and Boogie decide to bring Wil up to the HoH room and give him a chance to work with them, so they can get Joe out.  Wil decides not to play Big Brother for 5 minutes and shows Boogie and Frank that he won’t be loyal to them.  The focus then switches from getting Joe out, to getting Wil out.

He sealed his fate in a 5 minute conversation.

When nominations roll around Frank nominates Joe and Wil.  No surprise.


Frank is finally able to ditch the unitard tonight.  I am never a fan of the unitard, honestly.  It just seems like it would be smelly and dirty by week’s end…and frankly is more of a punishment to the rest of the house than the actual unitard recipient.

In a move of full disclosure, Wil decided to confide in Danielle, telling her that he was a young pop star and that music saved his life.  He said he went on tour with “bands” and even got a record deal.  There were no more specifics given, so I took to Google to get the inside intel.  Unfortunately, I couldn’t find any information on the world wide web about his music career. The only thing I came across was his YouTube Channel.  Soooo, if anyone has details on his days as a teen pop star, I need to see.  I was hoping to have a Robin Sparkles moment here!

As a staple in current seasons of Big Brother, the Zingbot showed up to save the episode.

He zinged some pretty easy one-liners at the majority of the house, but Danielle’s zing was by far the best…”I hear Shane’s gonna give you a special gift after the season…a restraining order!   Za-Ziiing”.   It was hilarious and by the reaction of everyone around, it couldn’t be more spot on.

This year the Zingbot lead up the Veto competition in efforts to free his baby Zing,  Apparently in his off-time, he and the Mrs have been busy making little Zingbots.

The competition involved the players to create an elaborate pipe maze,to then funnel Zing Orbs through , to allow the Zingubator to open and release the baby Zingbot.  Did I just write that?

Frank won by three miles, releasing the baby Zingbot and also, solidifying his roll as head dude in charge.

At the 25th hour Wil and Ashley decide to go talk to Frank and see if he would be interested in using the Veto on Wil and backdooring Dan.  It was definitely a plan Frank had considered but Boogie talked him out of that faster than he could say Geisha House.

There is a sub alliance within the Silent Six alliance called the “Quack Pack” that excludes Boogie and Frank and includes Ian.  Not sure why this alliance exists except to to allow Ian to play both sides of the house.  Ian also confronted Frank in the name of the “Quack Pack” and reported back to Brittany and Danielle that the thought of putting up Dan was on the table, but not likely.  And while there might have been more conversation between the 3 of them, I was wildly distracted my the enormous pimples on Danielle’s forehead.

At the Veto ceremony, Frank kept the nominations the same.


This was a pretty standard eviction episode.  No surprises, unless you count the super awkward “date” and make-out session between Frank and Ashley.  It went a little something like this:

Ashely asked Frank for an ice-cream date in the HoH room.

Ian gets jealous.

Date-time comes and they trade in ice cream for wine.

Ian plays volleyball and stays jealous.

Frank makes his “big move” and asks if Ashely wants to make-out on the couch.

She says yes and awkward kissing and robotic grabbing ensues.

They laugh and discuss their lack of chemistry.

Ok, they didn’t, but they should have because if there is an opposite of fireworks, that’s what they had.

The votes for eviction went off as planned and Wil got the oust.

They started the HoH competition which involves inching on a slippery surface to fill jugs with liquid, but we won’t know the winner until Sunday’s show.  There were 3 jars to fill, the HoH jar, a “Safety” jar and also $10K jar…which of course Boogie went to first.


Stay tuned to see who wins!


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  1. 1

    Between the Shane-O-Mac and couch makeout sesh, I endured several bouts of in-mouth vomiting during this episode, which should have been entitled Welcome To Awkward McAwkwardville.

  2. 2
    Mary-Michael says:

    I NEVER miss Big Brother but I got home late from an errand that night and must have missed the Shan-O-Mac AND the “date!” How did this happen? I must go back to my DVR and catch these things. i will be sure and have a bucket handy in case my dinner decides to make a break for it.

  3. 3
    Meredith says:

    BTW- I googled as well and it appears that Wil not only tried out for American Idol, but also had an album by the name of “People are Talking” with a MP3 that you can totally download!!! Which I didn’t… But, here’s the 9 seconds of awesome that were his American Idol try out…. you’re welcome!

  4. 4

    None have understood this more than our brother from the East.

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