The Bachelor Pad — Episode 4

I’m happy to report that the Bachelor Pad was in full Drama Mode this week.

 

Let’s get to it!!

 

The episode started with Jaclyn and Ed celebrating Reid’s departure, while Jamie stressed out because she has no partner.  In the midst of the celebrating and stressing, Chris Harrison magically appeared.  With clipboards.

 

He told everyone that he had surveys that needed to be filled out for the following day’s challenge.  He warned them that the surveys were very personal and he asked for brutal honesty.  Obviously, this would be leading to later tears and drama (aka AWESOME TELEVISION).

 

 

The next day, the group got up and got ready to compete in the challenge, which was set up like a game show.  The girls went first, and the first round went pretty smoothly — the questions focused on pop culture and Bachelor/Bachelorette knowledge, so things stayed pretty friendly.

 

Until, for some unknown reason, Chris decided to start cheering for Sarah.  In front of Blakely and Jamie.

 

Obviously, Blakely turned into one of those lizards who has those things that pop out the side of their neck when they’re angry.  Do you remember that tiny dinosaur that attacked Newman on Jurassic Park?

 


She looked kinda like that.

 

The next round of the game show was called Who Said That, and required each of the women to guess who had said a particular quote.  Things were about to get interesting, for sure.

 

 

What came out of this round was that Erica will be a terrible mom because she eats her own hair, and Blakely will accomplish the least in life out of all the contestants.  No biggie, not harsh AT ALL.

 

Jaclyn won the round, which Sarah was less than thrilled about.

 

The guys were up next, and again, the first round went by smoothly, with Ed knowing a surprising number of the answers.  Who knew he was such a trivia buff?

 

The the Who Said That round began, where it was revealed that Jamie wants to sleep with Chris AND Jamie thinks that Jaclyn is a total fake.

 

Bad for Jamie.  Not only did she look like a total ho-bag, but she also ticked off the woman who won the rose.  Wop Wop.

 

Ed won the competition and Jamie walked off upset, realizing that she had just placed a very large target on her back.

 

While Jamie ran to various men crying about her situation, Chris avoided her at all costs, only to be cornered by Blakely the Angry Lizard who wanted to confront him about cheering for Sarah.  Blah blah blah, she yelled, he told her he wanted to be her partner, same old same old.

 

Jaclyn came to the living room with her date card and Sara couldn’t wait for her to announce her chosen date so she would leave and Sarah could have Ed allllll to herself without Jaclyn giving them the stink eye.  But then Jaclyn chose Ed, and Sara’s mouth dropped open.  Apparently he is one hot number.

 

Jaclyn and Ed took off for their date and arrived at Dodger Stadium, which was completely empty.  They suited up and played baseball for awhile, and Jaclyn excitedly told the camera how “hot and sensitive” Ed is.

 

In related news, Jaclyn was probably very drunk.

 

Back at the house, Sara was complaining to Princess Erica about Jaclyn and Ed’s date.  In her opinion, Jaclyn should have left Ed at home so they could spend time alone together.  So what that Jaclyn and Ed hooked up the day after Sara and Ed did?  Obviously, the whole Jaclyn deal didn’t even count.  He probably just felt sorry for her or something.

 

Are there any SMART, NON doormat women living in the Bachelor Pad?  Just wondering.

 

Back on the date, Jaclyn and Ed got a card that told them that since Ed already had a rose, Jaclyn would have to give her rose to another man in the house who would choose someone for a date.  So…she essentially stole Ed’s date.  Nice.

 

 

After sharing a foot long hot dog, she said that she wanted to give the rose to Kalon.  Ed, however, wanted to give the rose to Chris.  Then they kissed and a bunch of fireworks went off.

 

Literally, not figuratively.

 

At the house, Blakely was busy complaining to Rachel about Chris cheering for Sara and questioning his loyalty.  Chris was listening nearby and could hear every word, and decided to hunt down Jamie for a few snuggles.  After Jamie basically begged and threw herself at him (awkwardly), they ended up in bed, where they kissed and she constantly interrupted to ask questions about his feelings.  The whole thing made both of them look really bad.  And annoying.

 

The next morning, Jamie confided in Rachel that she was crazy about Chris, and that he wanted to be her partner instead of Blakely’s.  Obviously, Chris hadn’t been thinking about the fact that everything he says will make it’s way around the house.  Not so slick, Bobblehead.  Not so slick.

 

Jacyln and Ed joined the group in the living room to give out her rose, and of course, they gave it to Chris.

 

OF COURSE.

 

Chris, in a shocking move, decided not to give the rose to Blakely OR Jamie, his snuggle partner from the night before.  Instead, he gave it to Sarah, while Jamie fought back tears and Blakely turned into a dinosaur again.

 

Blakely wasted no time in tracking Chris down and questioning his trust and their partnership.  He told her that he couldn’t commit to being partners until the end and needed time to think about it, so Blakely stormed off sobbing.

 

Jamie then approached Chris, asking him about his motives for taking Sarah on the date.  And in a move that would ONLY work on Jamie, Chris told her that he was actually taking Sarah out to PROTECT her!!  I mean, can you imagine how Blakely would have reacted if he chose Jamie??  Jamie would have been an immediate target, and he could never do that to someone he cares about SO much.  Jamie walked off on a cloud, certain that his date with Sarah was strategy, and congratulating herself on finding such a loving, kind, honest, and protective man.

 

 

Is Jamie real life?  Is the that blow up from Lars and the Real Girl?  I’m so confused.

 

Chris and Sara got in the car and left for their date.  They ended up in a parking garage, where they sat and wondered what was going on.  Suddenly the car started speeding and doing stunts, and when it stopped, Sarah and Chris were told that they would be making an action film on their date.  They changed into action clothes, filmed a fake movie, and kissed a lot, where they probably exchanged a ton of germs, judging by their Bachelor Pad actions so far.

 

 

Back at the house, Wizard Chris Harrison showed up with a rose.  He told the group that since Chris hadn’t won the competition, he did not have a rose on his date, so Ed would have to choose a woman to give the safety rose to.  Ed ended up giving the rose to Rachel, which seemed like a good way to go, even though Blakely and Jamie were about to cry their faces off over the whole thing.

 

 

Meanwhile, Chris and Sarah took their date to the nearby Hilton, where they drank champagne and ended up in the pool, where they started making out.

 

While they were busy making out, Jamie was at the house, telling us how grateful she was that Chris had taken Sara hout on a date to “protect her” and how she was certain that nothing was going on.  Her REAL threat, she said, was Blakely, so she set about trying to break Chris and Blakely’s partnership up.

 

After finding Blakely, Jamie broke the news to her that she had spent the night before with Chris, and he told her he didn’t want to be Blakely’s partner anymore.  Blakely then told Jamie that she was done with Chris, and Jamie rejoiced Chris being free, saying how now they could be together ALL THE TIME.

 

Jamie then went to Nick and Ed, obsessing over Chris and saying how ready she was for him to come home.  She said that he is loyal, loveable, and respectful…all the things she looks for in a husband!!

 

Back at the Hilton, Chris and Sarah were getting a room, while Chris compared her to “trading in his car” for a “smoother ride and new car smell”.

 

Yep, definite husband material.  This edit did Jamie zero favors.

 

 

The next morning, Chris and Sarah did the walk of shame back into the Bachelor Pad, both sporting messy hair and the previous day’s clothing.  Blakely turned into a dinosaur lizard again while Jamie tried not to sob uncontrollably.  Chris just sat there and acted like it was all perfectly normal and not at all awkward.

 

Finally it was time for the Rose Ceremony.  Chris, Ed, Jaclyn and Rachel were safe, so everyone else started scrambling.

 

David knew that he was the target since he was the last fan standing.  He immediately started pushing for Nick to go home.  Nick, hearing about the plan, started pushing for David to go home.  Of course, votes were being cast both ways and it was hard to tell who would be leaving.

 

Chris decided it was time to eliminate Blakely.  As he went around the room letting everyone know about his plan, he was confronted by Michael who felt like it was a bad move.  Because Blakely was a member of their alliance and Jamie was NOT, Jamie was the obvious one to vote out.  He tried to convince Chris that he was voting for emotional reasons, but Chris wasn’t hearing it.  By his rationale, Jamie would be easier for him to manipulate than Blakely, which basically told Michael that he was looking out for himself and not his alliance.
Bad move, Chris.

 

David and Jamie ended up going home, but not before a brief confrontation between Jamie and Chris.  I think it’s safe to say that Chris is on his way out fast.

 

On next week’s episode, Kalon and Lindzi have a romantical date (booooo0) and Chris and Kalon have a huge confrontation (yaaaaaay).

 

The Bachelor Pad airs Mondays at 8/7 central on ABC.

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Comments

  1. 1

    Sooo much to be entertained, and also severely disturbed, by on this week’s BP episode. I think your suspicions about Jaime being some sort of blow-up femmebot may be correct. And why all this obsession with Chris?!? He’s not THAT good looking. And he’s doing a bang-up job of coming across as this summer’s official Dbag.

    On another note, Jaclyn is the biggest hot mess EVER. That is all.

  2. 2
    Tammy says:

    Chris is a dirtbag and you’re right, he isn’t that good looking. I don’t know if you ever read Reality Steve or not, but if you want to cheat and know who makes it to the end, then check it out. Jamie is a complete psycho idiot to fall for all that crap Chris is serving her. The woman has no pride and all those false eyelashes need to go. Such ho bags on this show.

  3. 3
    Michele says:

    I just can’t stop thinking about how very lucky Emily is for not choosing Chris on the latest Bachelorette. “Dirtbag” is a perfect name for Chris! By showing his true character though, do think any woman in the “real” world would ever be able to believe a word that comes out of his mouth? I have to think that his mother would be very ashamed of him about now. What a scuz-bucket!

  4. 4
    Becky W says:

    How many times did Jamie claim that Chris was “loyal” and would make a “great husband”??? Really?!? What planet does that girl live on? So glad Emily didn’t choose Chris!!

    Loved this question of yours “Are there any SMART, NON doormat women living in the Bachelor Pad? Just wondering.” So true!! Now I’m off to watch this week’s episode lol.

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