Only 2 episodes left y’all!
Michele’s talking Episode 10 ~
We open with a ‘news update’ of the True Blood factory fires, and every time I see a news anchor now, I keep expecting Russell to come up from behind them and remove their spine and use it as a toothpick. But, alas, not this time, only Steve Newlin on the air lying through his teeth (fangs?) about the AVL’s concern over the demolition of the factories. As Sookie turns off the news in her living room in her comfy, loose PJs**, settling in for a quiet evening with some Chinese takeout, someone is SOON knocking at her door. Of course they are. When she grabs the small handgun just in case, I thought how much more of a badass she looked with the shotgun before, but maybe she is on a shotgun hiatus after shooting Debbie. Mike, the coroner, is at her door and she invites him in – and while he’s always been creepy, now he REALLY is….. as a vampire. WTH? As he tries to attack her, she stakes him with her takeout chopsticks, and once again, Sookie has one helluva mess to clean up in Gran’s house.
At Fangtasia, the new Goth vampire, Elijah, is in charge is handing out what little money is left for Pam and Tara after his cut. I barely listened to the dialogue initially in this scene because Tara looks the BEST SHE HAS EVER LOOKED! Seriously, that makeup is awesome! When Elijah tries to tell Pam new (gross) ways they could make money, she rejects his ideas and tells him they like to do things the old-fashioned way, and he retorts “Yeah you – and Blockbuster Video”. Ouch. He also says there is a ‘Procreation Mandate’ where they are supposed to create more vampires in the area (that explains why Mike the coroner was turned I guess?) When Pam and Tara are alone, Pam tells Tara “He can have the (bleeping) bar…. You and me, we live in the wind – just like I did before, with Eric”. Seems like Pam is taking to her role as Maker better and better – especially in the absence of her own.
Tara has other ideas. She tricks Elijah into coming into the bar under the pretense that she had drained Ginger because as she tells him “I don’t know nothing about birthin’ no baby vampires”. She takes that moment to slice his head off and as he splurts in his True Death all over Ginger (screaming her requisite seasonal screech that lasts like 5 minutes). Pam dashes in, shocked and unaware of the plan, and Tara tells her “We’re not running. No one (bleeps) with us in OUR house”. I kinda like Tara now. All it took was some good makeup and some purpose for that anger of hers, and she isn’t so bad anymore!
Back at the Authority HQ (I say with no enthusiasm whatsoever), Molly is brought before the vampires for her transgression when she tried to escape with Eric. They stake her quickly with the I-Stake app after Bill says “May Lilith Bless you” and Steve enthusiastically cheers on her True Death as if he is watching a home run from his favorite baseball player. Salome chastises him for this – because she is the Debbie Downer of the group – and Russell wants to go out and hunt in celebration. When he and Steve walk about to go get their ‘greek dinner’ (Fraternity coeds), I noticed it totally looks like through their courtship, they are having some unspoken contest on who can have the tallest rockabilly –Lyle Lovett hair to go along with their dipped in Southern honey accents.
Looks like Russell has him beat by a hair so far. Yes, folks, I went there.
Later on, Eric is brought before Bill who forces the blood of Lilith down his gullet as Bill tries to “save (your) soul because you saved my life”. Nora partakes in the blood as well, and they soon see images of Godric. While Godric’s spirit tries to appeal to Nora as he stands side by side with the image of Lilith like the classic Devil vs Angel on someone’s shoulders, Nora yells at him “You left me centuries ago!” Okaaaaaay. She has daddy issues and that’s why she needs this crazy cult. So in essence, Bill hates himself, Nora has some major abandonment issues, and Steve is just looking to belong somewhere for once in his life. All starting to make sense on why they believe now – doesn’t matter if you’re the undead, you can still act like someone who needs to be on a Dr. Drew show if you have issues.
But the best part of this scene? Bill is watching this all from another room surrounded by hi tech equipment on a large LCD screen while wearing a fitted navy shirt and an AVL pin. He ridiculously looks like a long lost member of Star Trek. I thought the set was about to take off into the stars and they were going to venture into the great unknown.
This makes me miss his usual Henley tees even more now.
Eric then goes before Russell and begs his forgiveness on his knees saying he nows see things clearly after seeing her image and he and Russell are now “brothers in the eyes of Lilith” . I don’t believe this for a second, mainly because he smiles, and you can NEVER believe Eric when he is smiling, and I don’t think Russell does either because he hisses to Eric “If Lilith wills it, so be it. Even though, you get the better end of the deal”.
While Maxine Fortenberry is nattering on to Hoyt about bringing him home and how she protected him in the hospital from the “cheeto-headed tramp”, he tells her he wants to move to Alaska and work on a pipeline crew. If this was reality, this would actually be a very intelligent move for someone like Hoyt, but it’s not, it’s True Blood and it makes me sad to think he really won’t be on the show.
Hoyt has Jessica and Jason meet him at Merlotte’s later to say his goodbyes. When Jessica walks in, a local attempts to shoot Jessica with wooden bullets, and while Sam is trying to stop him, Lafayette puts the issue to rest as he comes out from the kitchen not only with a shotgun, but while wearing the BEST OUTFIT ALL SEASON! Hands down! This even beats Pam’s Kitty Cat Special she had to wear when she went to ground with Tara. He’s wearing a shimmering leopard head wrap, off the shoulder coral tee that puts Jennifer Beal’s Flashdance sweatshirt to SHAME, and fabulous rainbow bracelets and fantastic silver chains. And of course, brandishing the shotgun. If we could all look so glamorous while wielding a firearm…
Once they have the bar to themselves when Jessica and Jason sit with Hoyt, Hoyt tells them he is moving to Alaska because “home is where my mama smothers me, my girl left me for my best friend, and a bunch of Barack Obamas nearly got me killed”. He just BEGS Jessica to erase his memory of not only her – but Jason too! – to “take this hurt away from me so I can go on and live my life”. He just looks so sad. Just so done with it all, it absolutely breaks your heart. The pain in Jason’s sweet, simple face is just as devastating when he tells him “I love you, Bubba”. Jessica reluctantly complies and honors his last request of her and she glamours him and she and Jason quietly leave the table as his memory of them disappears.
The next evening after Merlotte’s closes, Holly treats Andy to a Lala- home cooked meal as a thank you for picking her up and safely escorting her home amidst all the vampire violence at night. Lafayette is again wearing a sparkling outfit that is phenomenal and outrageous all at the same time. Seriously, Lala should have his own line at Chico’s like Michael Phelp’s mom got after the 2008 Olympics.
After Andy says “I don’t say this to many men, but I love you” when he samples the delicious meal, Lala tells them “Save room for dessert. I ain’t gone tell y’all what it is, but best BELIEVE it’s gone be flamin’” and he sashays away. That man makes every scene better just by being in it. Just like Andy does, so it’s like double bonus tonight!
On a side note, has anyone noticed that Holly can look exactly like Jessie the Cowgirl from Toy Story? Nope? Just me again? Yeeeehaaaaaaw!
Jason comes to visit Sookie the next day and they discuss what happened with Hoyt the night before. Two subtle things about this scene: While they are talking, Jason picks up one of Sookie’s old teddy bears wearing a dress, and he absentmindedly lifts up the dress like a little boy would do to see what could be under there. As if that is what he always did with her dolls just to make sure. And – Sookie sits down in her loose dress and pulls a pillow to her middle. (**Notice she hasn’t been wearing her usual Forever- 21- meets- Walmart -Juniors attire anymore? By now, Ms. Paquin-Moyer is carrying twins, and Sookie’s wardrobe had to adjust a tad.) After they are done talking about Hoyt, they realize they should have looked under the bed even more, and Jason pulls up an old loose plank. When Jason kept saying “under the bed” trying to figure out the clue, I felt like it was the Goonies looking for some lost treasure. He pulls out an old box from the floor with an ancient scroll written in unrecognizable characters. Yep, total Goonies.
At the Compton place, using members of the Authority Squad (the main one looks JUST like Lori Petty), Bill sends for Jessica to bring her back to HQ and tries to tell her how great the “sanctum of the vampire Authority is”. He points out the history like a tour guide at a college to a bunch of recruits. She starts to get skittish around all of this religion talk – and it reminds her of her overbearing Bible beating (literally) father when she was a human. She is as scared of the Vampire bible as she would be a wooden stake when he tells her they will be leading everyone in “this coming age” with some crazy look in his eyes.
Luna and Sam figure out a way to get into the Authority HQ when they shift and scamper as mice into Steve Newlin’s bag during one of his speaking engagements where he again is denying and lying at any of the vampire involvement with the factories and violence. They make it into HQ, and after Steve chastises Emma for turning into her child form “Your mommy doesn’t want you, punk!” – we see little mice scamper across the floor.
When Nora, Salome, Bill and Eric are discussing vampire education, Russell finally becomes impatient with all of this official Authority business like we all knew he would. Seriously, for a woman thousands of years old, Salome couldn’t see this coming? He tells the other vampires they can Walk in the Sun, and we see the panic in Bill and Eric’s eyes when Russell alludes to Sookie’s blood. (Sookie who??? Oh thaaaaaaaaaaaaat Sookie!!) Salome rejects this outright because she tells him “We.Are.Of.The.Night. The sun is forbidden to us and fairies are an abomination”. Bill and Eric look at each other with a small moment of relief and Salome’s dismissal of the sun, but Russell loses his sheeeeyat and will have none of it when he tells Salome that he wishes he “had one drop of fairy blood to stuff in your pie hole”. (I have wanted to silence her pie hole all season now too – so he and I DO agree on that, at least). He slips into his native dialect that sounds like a French/German mashup after she threatens him and tells them all he is stronger than they are all combined and
exclaims “I will have the sun!” and leaves with a flourish. The scene ends with Bill, Eric, and Jessica knowing what this means for our favorite fairy waitress.
Back in Bon Temps, Jason and Sookie are driving in his patrol car, and he pretends to find a reason to pull Hoyt over when they pass his truck leaving town. Hoyt doesn’t remember one thing about Jason despite Jason’s desperate attempts to revive his memory of their past. Jason lets him go and then collapses into sobs when he returns to the car and I have officially decided this is Ryan Kwanten’s best season yet when I tried to hug my TV to make him feel better.
He and Sookie take the scroll to Fairy-land for interpretation, and guess who comes around the corner! Andy’s baby mama, the pregnant fairy Mirella! Andy’s gonna have some ‘splainin to do when Holly finds out! But seriously, how would you even explain that one?
Since she is almost 500 years old, she can read the contract using ancient fairy magic and she tells them that it is a contract of blood between a Stackhouse ancestor with Warlow (!!!) from 1702– one promising the first born female fae…. And that of course is Sookie.
I still wonder who this Warlow is? Any connection to our favorite vamps? What does this contract mean? Is Hoyt really and forever gone? Are we DONE with the Lilith talk now? We only have two episodes to find out – and I am scairt we are running out of time!
Til next week,