Are we ready for another season of The Bachelor?
I have mixed feelings about this season. Aside from the shininess and color coordinating shirts and TOMS, I like Sean.
He’s cute, muscular, kind, seems to love his parents and want a family…but I’ve seen this before. Amazing man, until the season ends with him having touched on every cliche in The Bachelor Playbook. Make out with every single woman CONSTANTLY? Check. Keep around the girl who is OBVIOUSLY a psychotic mean girl? Check. Ending the season by proposing to a wild party girl in what is an obvious ploy for attention and fame?? CHEEEECKITY Check. Now cue the Lifetime Movie role and Dancing With the Stars.
However– I will try to stay hopeful and not become jaded by past Bachelor experiences. Perhaps Sean will break the mold? We will see.
The episode opened with previews of Sean’s dates with women from later episodes — Sean kissing a girl, Sean sitting on a bench with a girl, Sean professing his possible desire to marry a girl, Sean and a girl holding hands and running towards the ocean…you get the point.
Sean then discussed his journey to becoming The Bachelor. While he was talking, we watched him exercise (shirtless, of course…lest we forget his perfect physique), walk on the beach and ponder, and spend time with his family. He talked about his heartbreak over Emily, but he’s not fooling me. Surely he’s read US Weekly and knows he dodged a major bullet.
We were then brought back to present time, where Arie showed up to visit Sean at his Bachelor Pad. I’m sort of shocked that Arie didn’t walk right into the glass door, the way he walks around with his eyes half closed all the time. HOW DOES HE SEE???? They both chitchatted for awhile, and practiced how Sean would ask women to accept the rose. It was pretty much a rose version of “These pretzels are making me thirsty“.
Kramer they are not.
Arie then schooled Sean on kissing technique, and while it was slightly disturbing, I also have to say that Ari nailed all the major points.
Finally, we started meeting some of the women who would by vying for Sean’s affections:
Desiree, a 26 year old Bridal Sylist. Cute and seems semi normal.
Tierra, 24 from Denver, CO. When they told her that the bachelor would be Sean, she basically pooped her pants on camera. She’s dying to get married and have a family. At 24? Really?? What is the rush?
Robyn, 24, Oil Field Account Manager from Houston, TX. Sweet, but a little geeky.
Diana, 31, Salon Owner from Salt Lake City. Single mother of 2 small girls. Gorgeous hair.
Sarah, 26, Advertising Executive from Los Angeles. Born with one arm. Pretty, smart, and well spoken.
Ashley P., 28, Hair Sylist from Michigan. Obsessed with 50 Shades of Grey.
Leslie, 25, works at a Political Consulting Firm in D.C. From Arkansas. Doesn’t date nerds or politicians.
Kristy, 25, Ford Model. Likes to talk about being a model. Also thinks everyone is jealous of her. I already can’t stand her.
AshLee F., 32, Professional Organizer. Girl after my own heart.
Chris then introduced Sean, who took his spot in front of the Bachelor mansion, waiting to greet the limos full of women.
AshLee F. the professional organizer was the first to greet Sean. All the others followed, most notably a girl named Jackie, who put a bright red lipstick kiss on Sean’s cheek, a girl named Kelly who sang him a country song, Ashley P, who pulled a grey tie out of her boobs and asked Sean to do 50 Shades things with it, Paige from Bachelor Pad 3, Tierra, who was given a rose before even entering the mansion, Lindsay, who emerged in a wedding dress and kissed Sean, and Kacie B. from Ben’s season, who asked to come and have a chance with Sean.
Of course, there was the typical drama at the cocktail party. The women were less than pleased about the arrival of Kacie B., some of the ladies were drinking WAAAAAY too much (don’t they realize they are on TELEVISION??), and all around cattiness. To make matters worse, Sean decided to go rouge and was handing out roses all willy nilly. I get that he wants to “break the rules” and be unpredictable, but people need STRUCTURE, Sean. STRUCTURE IS COMFORTING!!!!!
Rosegate was causing quite a stir in the house. Tension was building, and women were frantically counting the number of roses floating around. Miss 50 Shades drank way too much and started booty dancing around the mansion. She ended up falling on the steps on her way back from talking to Sean, and was an all around mess.
Finally the Rose Ceremony began. The camera panned around on lots of tense faces, as Sean called the names of the women he wanted to keep. Including the women who received roses during the cocktail party, the following women are staying:
Tierra – Got the first rose out of the limo
Desiree – Bridal designer
AshLee F. – Professional organizer
Selma – Wiped the lipstick off Sean’s cheek
Robyn – Oil Field Account Manager from Texas
Catherine – Graphic designer from Seattle
Jackie – Left red lipstick on Sean’s cheek
Leslie – Poker dealer from Florida
Sarah - Born with one arm, from Colorado
Amanda – Fit model
Leslie - hiked the football with Sean after getting out of limo. Lives in D.C.
Kacie – Ben’s season
Kristy - Ford model
Daniella – Blonde, from California
Taryn – Health Club Manager, was crying at cocktail party
Lindsay – Wedding dress
Diana – Salon owner and single mom
Brooke – Community Organizer from Pennsylvania
Katie – Yoga Instructor, curly hair