The Bachelor Sean ~ Episode 2

The episode opens up to Sean lifting weights and showering.

For no other reason but to show he is clean and muscley.

 

Chris Harrison walks in to the mansion and brings a date card…it says, “Sarah, are you ready to fall in love today?”

Sarah is the girl that was born with one arm…I really hope they have a connection…because she seems really nice.  But here’s the thing, he is in a tough spot…if he doesn’t “have a connection” with her then he looks like a d-bag getting rid of her.

Of course she is picked up by a helicopter.  Of course.  And at that moment I am just praying they are going to have a picnic at the top of a mountain or something.  Certainly ABC wouldn’t expect her to scale down the side of a building.  Certainly not.

Well ABC one upped me.  They thought free-falling might be a totally normal first date activity.  They just love leading to situations that might garnish the phrases, “take the plunge”, “took a leap”, “if we can overcome this together…”

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And was it just me but did they show us that fall in fast forward?

 

They toasted their “fall” with some champagne and then it was suddenly nighttime.

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Sarah showed up in a cute black dress to have more drinks and sit on comfortable chaise lounge chairs. She tells him of past discriminatory situations, he talks about how he is a “man” and we learned that there is no chemistry between these two.  Even still, Sarah gets a rose.  And a kiss.  And then she tells us she is falling in love with him.  Oh, you poor girl..it’s only been 3 hours.

 

Back at the mansion…the group date card arrived…Kristy, Amanda, Brooke, Lesley M., Daniella, Catherine, Kasie, Robyn, Katie, Selma, Diana, Taryn and Tierra.

“Let’s Capture the Romance”

Tierra begins to show us her bratty side by doing the first doing a “z” snap of the season.  It’s never a good sign girls..for many reasons.

Also, we need to address Katie’s (the yoga instructor) hair situation.  Please Katie.  Frizz-Ease.  That is all.

 

Sean meets the ladies at a mansion with a “Wasssup ladies”.

He informs them that they will be doing cover shoots for Harlequin Novels…”The most trusted name in romance.” Really?

The winner, ie the one with the most “chemistry”, gets to appear on the cover of 3 Harlequin Romance novels for all the middle aged housewives of the world to see.  What a fine honor.

 

Of course Kristy, who if you didn’t know is a model, started squealing about her imminent victory.  I want her to lose instantly.  I wonder why models are so incessant about telling everyone they are models?  I mean, I never hear the office assistants of the group making sure that everyone knows they assist for a living.  And frankly I finding someone assisting much more useful then someone woo-hooing and posing.

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Also Tierra doesn’t have extensions like Kristy, btw. Which I assume makes her a better person…also she tells us she’s smart, wink wink.  And she has a “good glow of life”?  Dislike.

And another fun Tierra fact…when she gets angry, she gets an awesome forehead wrinkle…it’s like deep vertical line that stretches from her hairline to her eyebrows…can’t wait for it to make it’s appearance throughout the season.  Maybe we should start a drinking game or something?

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Kristy, the model, ended up winning. Bah.

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Later that night Sean took the ladies to another hotel rooftop for a “cocktail party”.

Katie realized she left her flat iron at home and decided she couldn’t get through “this journey” any longer without it…so she left.  The other ladies rejoiced.

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There was lots of wine, some emotional eating and more awkward moments than I can count.  Sean touched a lot of knees, a few lips and eventually gave the rose to Kacie.  Yay!

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Back at the mansion another one on one date card arrived for Desiree, “Love is priceless”.

She seems adorable.

Sean decided that he wanted to start the date with a little bit of a prank at an art gallery. He set up a situation where a priceless piece of art gets broken and she is to blame.

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I think she knew it was a joke.  Even still, she went on to do her best fake-upset face and showed Sean that she is a “good sport”.

He decides she is worthy to take back to his house and serve a 4 hour old meal that is waiting for them in the oven.

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They talk about their similarities and of course end up in the hot tub.  He reminds us again the he is a “man” and wants to protect his woman.

I am starting to wonder why he feels the need to convince us that he is a “man”.

He also tells Desiree that she has seen every side of him.  Has she?  IN ONE NIGHT? EVERY SIDE?  They must have edited a lot of the date out.  Because I missed the part where is was being a farting jack-hole.  I’m quite certain every man has that side at one time or another.

Des gets a rose.

 

Next up is the cocktail party and rose ceremony.  Sean makes a point to talk to the girls that didn’t have a date..namely Lindsay, who you might remember wore a wedding dress the first night.  She assures us she needs to show Sean the “real her”.  But I thought I remembered her saying that wearing a wedding dress was the “real her”.  Because she was so jokey and funny yada yada.

Then Sean gets approached with racial questions from Robyn, learns Arabic from Selma and shows that he is open to dating all the colors of the rainbow.

Then the resident cuckoo, Amanda, does her best to not respond to any of the girls and make really angry faces. But when approached by Sean she suddenly gets zapped to life.  I think honestly he was distracted by the cupcakes on her shoulders to see the scowl on her face.

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Roses:

  • AshLee
  • Lindsay
  • Robyn
  • Jackie
  • Lesley
  • Selma
  • Catherine
  • Kristy
  • Leslie H.
  • Tierra
  • Taryn
  • Daniella
  • Amanda

 

Next week records are being set, ambulances are being called, possible sabotages are being schemed and neck braces are being worn.  Awesome.

The Bachelor airs Mondays on ABC at 8 EST

 

 

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Comments

  1. 1
    Meagan says:

    It’s really weird that you’re like totally in my head when you write these things: I agree with everything you said. Everything!

    1. As soon as I saw Katie step barefoot out of the limo, I knew she would be saying ‘namaste and see ya later’ to the mansion sooner rather then later.
    2. It should be made the law of the land that models aren’t allowed to tell people that they are models. At least the ones that go on the Bachelor.
    3. I really thought I was going to like Tierra, but I’m starting to think she’s going to be a little cray cray… we’ll see.

    Still pulling for: Kacie B., Sarah and Desiree

  2. 2
    Marie M.C. says:

    Oy, oy, oy. I CAN”T take it anymore! Although I’d take Sean . . . for a few minutes. Just to feel up his muscles. Give me Nathan Fillion!

  3. 3
    Aimee says:

    Okay, I love the bachelor and I love reading your thoughts on it. Umm, but I actually thought they were going really slow on the free fall, like it definitely was not a “free fall”. Also, I think Tierra just has a giant scar on her forhead, though I’m not sure what it would be from.

    And so far I like Selma, Jackie, Desiree and Kacie.

    Can’t wait for next week!

  4. 4
    Kasey says:

    Farting jack-hole. Hilarious but the truth!

  5. 5
    Heather M. says:

    I couldn’t have said it better myself! Although I’m not a big Kacie fan. I am however really rooting for Selma! All the rest of them seem pretty crazy. ; )

  6. 6
    Jane says:

    LOL! Even my daughter said about Sean & Sarah, “What did they do ALL DAY? Change clothes?”

  7. 7
    Rhys says:

    It’s no surprise that Kristy won the cover shoot because she really turned on the heat when it was her turn with Sean and she had all the ladies present sweating. I see what you did there, well played Kristy. My DISH co-worker pointed out that Tierra was fighting every reflex in her body to not punch Kristy in the face and if looks could kill, she’d already be dead. This season is already so laced with drama I can’t wait to see what happens next. I started recording the show on my DISH Hopper this season and I can start watching in the living room while doing the laundry and finish in the bedroom while I’m putting up the clothes. The Hopper gives me full DVR functionality in every room of the house. It’s awesome.

  8. 8
    Carol O says:

    Subtile.

  9. 9

    I think Sean probably mentioned his being a “man” at least 4 times in the episode. And I nearly cringed when he told Desiree about the practical joke and started by saying “I don’t know what happened here but I’ll support you. I’ll always support you.” Incredibly awkward.

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