The Bachelor Sean — Hometown Dates!!

The episode opened with AshLee.

I have to say, not a huge fan of hers.  Her hair is gorgeous, but the whole blindfold trust thing weirded me out.  Then add the “I LOVE THIS MAN” date last week…

Enough.  Just enough.

Anyways — AshLee lives in Texas, and she has a tiny dog.  She opened by telling us how she never knew what true love was before this experience.

Who has she been spending her time with?  Hobos?  UFC Fighters?  Is The Bachelor really her first glimpse into TRUE LOVE??

I have decided that the producers drug these women.

Moving on.

Sean arrived to meet AshLee and they headed to an impromptu wine picnic  (what parks do these people go to that blankets and wine randomly appear, because I have been taking my kids to ALLLLLL the wrong ones, obviously).  They talked about AshLee’s trust issues again while I pulled out my eyelashes one at a time.

I was contemplating waxing my nose hairs, when they finally cut the intense love talk and headed to AshLee’s parent’s house.  As they arrived, AshLee announced that she had been dreaming of this day since she was four or five years old.  A quick Google investigation on my part proved this to be impossible.

The Bachelor didn’t even exist 26 years ago.  Way to be a liar, AshLee.  Nice.

AshLee, Sean, and her parents sat down to a lovely meal outside.  Then AshLee told her parents that she “rolled around in the sand” with Sean on one of their dates.  WHO SAYS THAT AT A FAMILY DINNER???

I can’t even.

Sean sat down for individual conversations with each parent.  Her dad pretty much threatened to murder Sean if he didn’t choose her at the end, and Sean kind of laughed it off.

They all sat back down to dinner, and AshLee’s dad shared the story of her adoption, which was really touching.  You can tell that he really loves her a lot.  Maybe Sean should’ve taken that threat a little more seriously.

As Sean left, AshLee said that she wanted to marry him as soooooon as the process was over.  She doesn’t want to wait, she loves him so much.

Prediction — this is going to end badly for her.

 

Next up was Catherine’s date.

So far, I really like Catherine.  She’s bubbly, fun, and drama free, which is always a good thing.

The two of them met at Pike’s Market — one of my favorite places!!  They stopped to do some fish catching, which was actually pretty cute.  Then they walked around and visited the gum wall, watched some street performers, and headed to lunch.

While they ate lunch, Catherine filled Sean in on some traditions of her culture so he could act appropriately when meeting her family.  I got a little worried, because I didn’t see Sean taking notes, but I guess if he forgets they can just start the cameras over and he can try again?

They finally arrived at Catherine’s mom’s house.  Catherine’s mom, grandma, and two sisters were there.  Sean seemed to get along great with the family, and they all had a good time.

Catherine talked to her sisters separately and told them that she would accept a proposal from Sean.  Both her sisters seemed skeptical.  I don’t know why.  I mean…this show has produced so many healthy and long lasting relationships!!

The conversation with her sisters seemed to really get Catherine down.  Instead of gushing and sharing her excitement, she ended up feeling super defensive.  Sean then talked to her sisters alone, and they basically told him that Catherine was flighty and only wanted to be in relationships until they “stopped being fun”.  Then they told Sean that Catherine was moody and messy…

If I was Catherine, I’d be firing my sisters.  What brats.

Sean asked Catherine’s mother for her blessing in marrying Catherine.  She didn’t really give an answer.

Apparently the whole family is the enemy of true love.

Sean left kind of on a bad note.  Catherine was bummed and he was very confused.

 

Next up was Sean’s date with Lindsey.

They met at a town that Lindsey had lived in when she was younger.  She was a military brat, so the term “hometown” was a little vague for her.

They wandered around through various shops and seemed to have good chemistry.  They stopped for cupcakes and talked about her family.  Sean wanted to know if he should call her dad “General” or “Mister”.  Lindsey thought that “General” was a bit awkward and I have to agree.

Before they headed to the base, Lindsey made Sean change into Army clothing and made him do push ups.  I think it was so she could look at his butt, but I obviously can’t prove that.

Finally they arrived at Lindsey’s parent’s house.  They all sat down to talk and Sean told her family that Lindsey was Wedding Dress Girl.  Her family pretended to think it was hilarious, but I think that Lindsey’s father had steam coming out of his ears.  Lindsey’s mom pulled Sean aside to talk, and she asked Sean if he loved Lindsey.  Obviously she never watches the show, or she’d know that revealing that is punishable by death.

I’ve watched enough unreciprocated love proclamations to know that much.

Then Sean talked to the dad…and asked for his blessing to propose to Lindsey.  He basically said no, but then he said yes.  It was a little confusing.

The date ended on a good note and Lindsey told Sean she was falling in love with him.

 

Finally it was time for the last date, in Desiree’s hometown of Los Angeles.

Sean and Desiree met for a hike, because apparently she is super outdoorsey. She said it was the way she normally spent her weekends, but I would bet anything that she normally shops.  But no one wants to drag the Bachelor around the mall and make him hold bags while you pick through sales racks, sooooo….

No wonder The Bachelor relationships never work out in the real world, is all I’m saying.

Then Desiree took Sean to her place to help prepare dinner for her parents.  After they got dinner ready, there was a knock at the door…and it was a guy that Desiree didn’t look very happy to see.  The guy started saying that he loved Desiree…he had been trying to text and call her…Sean is just an actor…he was a little aggressive and it was really awkward.

des

Then it turned out to be a joke.  The guy was an actor, and Desiree was trying to get him back for a prank on an earlier date.

Then Desiree’s family arrived, and they all sat down to visit.  Her parents seemed really nice, and her dad didn’t even punch Sean for making his daughter drink fresh goat’s milk.

Sean talked to her dad alone, and nothing interesting really happened.  Everyone was getting along great, and it seemed to be the smoothest hometown date so far.

Until.

Desiree started talking to her brother Nate, who had sat there smirking through the evening.  He was obviously skeptical and scoffed at the idea that Sean was her, “best friend”.

nate

In other words…her brother is a normal human being.

He then asked to speak to Sean alone, and Desiree almost wet herself.  She sat inside worrying, while they sat outside and talked.  Nate basically told Sean that he felt he didn’t reciprocate Desiree’s feelings, and Sean tried to reassure him, but I wasn’t really buying it.  He asked Sean if he knew he was going to choose and Sean told him that he did not.  Nate then told Sean that he thought he was a playboy and just having fun with the experience.

Isn’t that what they all do?  I’m so confused right now.

When they all sat down for dinner, the tension between Sean and Nate was obvious.  Desiree was stressing, her parents started talking about the weather, and it was so uncomfortable.  Desiree walked Sean outside, and the date ended on a bad note.

Finally it was time for the rose ceremony.

Sean sat and chatted with Chris and recapped the dates.  Sean told him that he didn’t get the clarity he wanted, and was confused about who to send home.  He said that either Catherine or Desiree were on the chopping block.  He said that his issues with Nate were a concern as far as a relationship with Desiree, and he was worried that Catherine might not be ready for a serious relationship.

Basically, both of their siblings sabotaged things for them.

Sean started the rose ceremony by telling the girls that he had no idea who he was sending home.  This made no sense to me.  YOU’RE AT THE ROSE CEREMONY NOW.  Was he planning on eeenie meenie miney mo-ing or what???

Desiree interrupted him before he passed out the first rose and asked to speak to him alone.  She pulled him aside crying, and apologized for her brother, Nate the Not So Great.  They hugged and walked back in while the other girls stood there panicking.  If you ask me, interrupting the rose ceremony should be against the rules.  I mean…if everyone interrupted, they would never get handed out!!

Finally Sean began passing out roses.  The first went to AshLee, the second to Lindsey, and after a long pause, Sean set the third rose down and walked away, leaving Catherine and Desiree standing there waiting.  Then Sean went to the back room and stared at pictures of them.

Does he know that pictures can’t talk or anything?

Chris Harrison came back there with him and told him to “make sure you get it right”.

Thanks, Chris.  I’m preeeeeeety sure Sean wanted to punch you in the face right then.

After staring at the pictures awhile longer, Sean went and leaned up against a wall and thought some more.  Have you ever watched someone think?  Riveting television, ABC.

Sean finally returned to the rose ceremony and gave the rose to Catherine.

Yep.  Nate the Not So Great totally ruined it for Des.  No doubt.

Sean walked Desiree out and they stopped halfway to the limo so they could sit on a bench and rehash all the gory details.  Sean said he was making a mistake, Desiree agreed that he was making a mistake, but there were no take backsies.

Someone needs to tell Sean that you can’t dump someone, then tell them that you think you are making a mistake, and then still dump them.  The world just doesn’t work that way.

They stared at each other all awkward while Desiree waited for a Get Out of Jail Free card.  It never happened, and he walked her to the limo.  In a last ditch effort, she clung to him crying and begged to stay, but he just kept saying her name in a “I’m sorry” voice.  Then she changed tactics and went with the, “I love you so I’m going to let you go,” route.

Well played, Des.  Well played.  Way to make this look like your idea.

Des cried in the limo and wondered what she will do with the rest of her life.  Punch your brother, maybe?  Just an idea.

Next week Sean has overnight dates in Thailand and we will find out who the final two are.  I can’t wait!!

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Comments

  1. 1

    This was waaaaay better than watching the show. My stomach hurts from laughing. Thanks for the ab workout! I’ll be back for more next week! christy

    • 1.1
      Victoria says:

      The only part I watch is the last two minutes every week while I wait for Castle to come on. But I NEVER miss the recap! They are awesome! Their is no way the show can be better then this!

  2. 2
    Tammy says:

    AshLee is super annoying. She will be the next to be told bye, bye. I like both Catherine and Lindsey. I’d punch that brother in the face when I got home, what a butt.

  3. 3
    Marie M.C. says:

    Yes, I too have over-night dates in Thailand with relative strangers. Yeah. I’m convinced the producers find weird women/men to be a part of this program. Some of the choices are like “they can’t be serious”. I think they edited out Emily’s date with the man who believed in Vampires. (Forgot his name, he had a bad comb-over.) I found a clip online. Scary. They want to create “magic moments”. Hahahaha.

  4. 4
    Jane K says:

    Oh my gosh I’m going to get fired because I’m reading this at work and laughing SO hard!! I love LOVE your recaps — just found your website last week so am going back and reading all of the summaries!! Ya’ll are so funny thanks!

  5. 5
    katriel says:

    Couldn’t help but think when Des gets home her brother’ll be like “Hate to say I told you so….”

    • 5.1
      Becky says:

      That’s EXACTLY what I said! Ugh. That brother was annoying. And now, he’s basically been proven right, and I fear for Des. Going home to THAT fresh off a break up? No thanks!

  6. 6
    Andreas says:

    I think that the visit with AshLee went well although I have to confess that I am also a little confused by her never knowing what love is until now. I mean she is 32, right? She tells Sean that she loves him again and I’m not sure that Sean feels the same way about her. I watched a clip of them meeting up in the park with her little dog in my office at DISH and I thought that she really is opening up like she said she would. I didn’t get to see the newest episode of The Bachelor this week but I plan on catching up on the train ride home tonight. Thanks to the Hopper and DISH Anywhere I can turn my iPad into a TV and catch up on what I’ve missed. Whether it’s live TV or recorded, I can watch anything, anywhere.

  7. 7
    Karen says:

    I am SO sad that Des went home! Like, I was crying right along with her. She seems so awesome and I want to be her best friend. I think that her and Sean made a really cute couple and were a good match. I loved that they made her parents dinner. It’s totally her brother’s fault because everything was going fine until then. Shame on you Sean. But what did she mean about she didn’t know what she’d do about her life now? She had a life before Sean. Maybe she had to leave her job to go on the show or something?

    And can we please just talk for a moment about the fact that the women always make a big deal about telling the Bachelor that they are “falling in love” him. “Falling in love” is NOT the same as saying “I love you.” It’s basically like saying “Ya, I really like you a lot and I see this going somewhere.” Not quite as dramatic. “I love you” is a big deal, yes. “Falling in love,” not so much.

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