So here we are.
The Women Tell All.
I’ll admit — I’ve never been so huge on The Women Tell All episodes. But I was really looking forward to this one — mainly for the Tierra drama and to see if AshLee was still dishing out the icy cold death glare.
The episode opened with Chris Harrison giving some season finale teasers. Apparently it’s going to be the most dramatic finale EVER. Can you believe it??
Next, Chris showed video of him and Sean crashing Bachelor viewing parties. And as excited as all the girls were, none of them were yelling, “WHY ARE YOU HERE, HOW DID YOU KNOW MY ADDRESS????”, which was odd to me. I’m sorry, but Chris Harrison is a bit of a creeper, and if he knew my address I’d be a little skeeved.
Also, the whole experience made Sean think he is a celebrity and yet “humbled” him at the same time. Humbled, my behind.
Chris introduced the women, and showed video clips of all the girls going gaga over Sean’s physique. Does he have muscles? Weird that the show has never mentioned or exploited that fact.
The video ended with mad AshLee and Tierra drama. FINALLY!! End the Sean drooling and party crashing and get to the good stuff.
Chris then asked the women their opinions of Tierra — of course, they alllll had plenty to say. Mainly, they all agreed that she was a drama queen and a faker face, and said that both her fall down the stairs and her hypothermia were staged for attention. Chris then revealed that although Tierra wasn’t sitting with the women, she WAS backstage listening…and would be coming out.
DUM DUM DUMMMMMM.
Tierra walked out to dead silence. AshLee tried to kill her with her eyes, and everyone else just looked around awkwardly. Tierra began by telling Chris that she lights up rooms and brings joy where ever she goes, and that it sometimes causes people to judge her.
Also, she’s extremely good looking and comes from a great family, but her light and her joy prevent people from seeing that about her.
Basically, she’s so great, it makes her look BAD. Hate when that happens.
Tierra then began to blame the fact that she got the first rose for the fact that all the women hated her. Chris delicately suggested that she was aggressive and dramatic, and Tierra refused to admit that. She then tried to say that Sean was the one who told her to put on her blinders and keep her eye on the prize.
Whatever, Tierra. Whatever.
The interview ended with Chris asking Tierra if there was anything she’d like to take back or apologize for. She said no. She can’t help it that she sparkles, y’all.
Chris then opened it up to the women so Tierra could receive a very public, verbal stoning. Robin told her she was delusional, Jackie called her fake, and Selma accused her of ignoring her anytime she greeted her or said good morning. Tierra’s reply was that she couldn’t remember every little thing that happened.
I started getting really bored with this segment of the show. Tierra is obviously delusional, and she will never cop to anything.
And then AshLee jumped in. Finally. FINALLY.
There was a lot of confusing back and forth between the two of them. Tierra called her a bully and said she ganged up on her. Of course, AshLee denied it. I’m not a huge fan of either of them so whatever.
You’ll be happy to know that Tierra’s eyebrow jumped in to defend her honor, but only made matters worse.
Chris then talked to Tierra about the fact that she is currently engaged. Tierra first refused to comment on WHEN she got engaged, then said it was in January. I am not completely convinced that she isn’t faking the whole thing. Maybe she’s pretend engaged to her eyebrow?
Next up, Chris interviewed Sarah. Then he made the poor girl sit through a whole video of their romance, lest she forget what she’s lost.
Thanks, Chris. Also, are you the Devil? Just had to check.
If I was Sarah, I’d be relieved that I dodged a major bullet. If I had one arm, the last thing I’d want is a husband who tries to force me into roller derbying.
Actually…I don’t want to do that with TWO arms. What a jerk, Sean. What a jerk.
Then we all had to watch Sarah get dumped again. Nice. Rollerderbying and then public viewing of dumpage, while you are forced to sit and let us watch your reaction. Pretty sure that constitutes as torture in some cultures.
Finally Chris resumed his interview of Sarah. She cried, he pretended to be sympathetic. Then he paused to scratch his back with his pitchfork.
Kidding. Kind of.
Next up was Desiree. They cued the video clips of Sean singing her praises — he could see himself marrying her, she could be his best friend…lies lies lies. The video then went to Desiree’s brother, and the subsequent public break up.
Desiree said that her brother regretted the way he looked on the show. Gee…did he not see that coming? If you’re going to call The Bachelor a phony while the cameras are rolling, you best believe they are going to exploit that mess.
Next up was AshLee. Is it just me, or is Jilted AshLee a WHOOOOOOLE other personality than the Love and Light AshLee we saw all season?
AshLee then revealed that she is no longer in love with Sean. According to her, he acted like a southern gentlemen on their dates, but a frat boy on his dates with the other girls. Yes, AshLee, because your personality has been so consistent. *cough*
Chris finally decided to bring out Sean. The ladies squealed, the crowd cheered, and Sean became more and more humble by the second. AshLee continued to try to murder him with her eyes, making me doubt that she really IS over him as she claims.
Sean explained to AshLee that he “couldn’t find laughter” with her. Basically, that was a nice way of saying, “You are no fun and a control freak”.
AshLee told him that she felt dishonored because he made her go through the Rose Ceremony. Because, yes. All the women should just get dumped BEFORE the Rose Ceremonies. That makes total sense.
Sean explained that he had more feelings for Lindsey and Catherine than he did for her. She then accused him of telling her TWICE that he has NO feelings for either of those women while they were in the Fantasy Suite. He said she was lying, she stared at him intensely and begged him to tell the truth. It was pretty awkward and hard to tell what was really going on. It basically ended on that note, and it was obvious that they hate each other.
I’m pretty sure that a very angry woman lives inside of AshLee’s eyes.
We then saw a bit that was filmed during commercial break. Sean and AshLee were angry whispering about whether or not he said that he didn’t have feelings for the other two girls. It was all a little confusing…I have to say, it seemed like AshLee was telling the truth.
Next up was a blooper reel. I guess they needed something to put out the fire shooting out of AshLee’s eyes.
Last of all, we saw clips from Sean’s moments with the two remaining women. Lindsey looks like the best match, but I’m not convinced that he’s going to choose her.
The season finale airs next Monday on ABC.
What are your thoughts on The Women Tell All?