Tonight Part One of the “Shocking Conclusion of The Bachelorette”… The television event of the summerrrrrr.
We are promised tears, betrayal, unexpected twists…
I know it will all be a major let-down.
But still I watch.
Des is in Antigua.
We are forced to look back on Des’s journey…again.
Honestly I fast forwarded through it.
Been there, done that…and done that again.
I want to tell ABC we don’t NEED to fill up 2 hours.
How about, make it a 1 hour show and free up my evening?
Finally after the first 15 minutes of recap we get to the first of the overnight’s dates with Drew.
Des and Drew crashed a party up on a hill. Drew says that he feels like these are the types of things they’d be doing if they were a couple.
Crashing parties of locals in a foreign country is most certainly not everyday activity Drew.
A little limbo and leaf weaving later they decided to have a picnic. Of course.
I do have to say that my husband has never taken me on a picnic date.
And we’ve been married for 11 years…soooooo…
Later that evening their romantical beach dinner got rained out…so they head straight for the fantasy suite.
Drew says that he wants to spend his whole life with Des.
And then they had sexy time.
Next up, Brooks…
acting like a major baby, honestly.
He is doubting that he loves Des, so he decides to go talk to his mom and sister to…find out if he loves Des?
Honestly, wishy-washy is not attractive.
He tells his mom and sister that the thought of proposing to Des at the end of the process makes him “uncomfortable”.
I don’t know much about anything.
And I do, actually, think that a proposal isn’t the end-all-be-all. But the fact that it makes him “uncomfortable”?
Not good at all.
Ok, now onto Chris.
Chris bores me. I’m sorry.
I am sure he’s there for the “right reasons”…I am sure his poetry is heartfelt…
Also, the image of him getting his nose adjusted will never be erased from my brain.
They had a beach date in the day where they did a lot of “frolicking” and kissing…
…and at night they had the average Bachelor beach-dinner…loads of gauzy fabrics, 40 million candles, plushy floor pillows and zero food.
They talk about where they might live and Chris said that he doesn’t want to move from Seattle…Des says she would be open to moving there, but I’m not quite sure if anyone actually believes her.
They get the fantasy suite card and Chris says he definitely wants to accept the room key so they can watch the stars together.
And then he reads her yet another poem.
Next up Brooks. Again.
Des tells us AGAIN that she wants to marry Brooks and that while the other guys are great, it’s all-Brooks for her.
It’s not looking good.
Brooks meets up with Chris Harrison to talk it out.
Chris’s “really listening” face was cracking me up, by the way.
And can’t ABC afford the man some sunglasses??
Brooks tells CH that he knows Des is not the girl for him.
Chris basically asks Brooks the same question 4,000 times and at this point I sorta-kinda feel sorry for Brooks.
He doesn’t love her. The end.
The conversation goes on way too long, and while I am sure that I am supposed to be riveted, I get drowsy.
Brooks slowly walks to his date with Des.
Cue the melancholy music.
Brooks takes her onto a pier to sit and talk.
And then I stop feeling sorry for Brooks.
He basically tells her he’s not feeling it.
She is devastated for lack of a better word.
She had basically let us all know that Brooks was the winner…
So yeah, it caught her off guard.
She tells him that she loves him and he acts surprised and asks why she tell him earlier?
I’m pretty sure he knows the rules of the show, right?
And would that have made any difference??
She basically tells him that he was the only one that she wanted and I yelled at the tv…STOP DES! JUST STOPPPPPP!!!
Brooks finally leaves and seems to start doubting what he’s just done.
And I’m gonna be major mad if homeboy comes back and wants back in on the game.
I’m kinds thinking this is what might happen.
Next week is the finale and I couldn’t be less excited.