The Bachelorette Desiree ~ Episode 8


Hometown Dates my Homies!

Since my beloved Juan Pablo is no longer on the show, this recap will be muddled with undertones of disappointment and regret.


Let’s all have a moment for Juan Pablo.




The episode this week opens up in Dallas, Texas with Zak practicing his sketching.

Des meets him and they walk in the park while Zak warns Des that his family is crazy.  Unfortunately he didn’t prepare her for all the singing.

Next Zak tells Des about his dream where they melt their faces off and then eat snow.  Super romantic stuff y’all.


THEN he pulls up in a Snow Cone truck, which is apparently his FAMILY’S BUSINESS!

HELLO ZAK…LEAD WITH THIS INFORMATION!  Hold off on the face melting stories and open with snow cones.

Always open with snow cones.


They pass out snow cones to children and of course Zak wins points for loving kids.

Love Zak.  Next Bachelor, people.


They pull up to Zak’s parents house in the Snow Cone Truck and are greeted by his very excited family.

And I loved how his family reacted to the his “limo exit” story. PERFECT.


Then they started singing.

So. Yeah.

There was that.


But in all honesty Zak and his family are great.

Then Zak gave her a ring and I cried.  Because I’m ridiculous.



Next up Drew in Scottsdale, AZ.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on Drew.  I love him, Kristan thinks maybe he doesn’t belong on The Bachelorette *ahem.

After a few quick google searches I have surmised that Kristan’s opinion is definitely the majority.  The public seems to think that Drew belongs dancing in a cloud of glitter and fabulousness.



Anyhow, I will choose to believe that Drew is in it for the RIGHT REASONS.  Meaning, marrying a lady.

Des goes with Drew to pick up his mentally-handicapped sister, Melissa.

His sister is very excited to see Drew and Des and it was really a nice moment.


They get to Drew’s mom’s house and they all seem very nice.

And his dad has a very kind face.

And really that is all.



Next up Chris.

In McMinnville, OR.

And I am hoping he hasn’t written another poem.


Chris takes Des to his Little League field where he used to play.

Seeing Chris play baseball makes him exponentially more attractive.  He needs to focus more on the ball playing than the poem writing.



Then they sat on the pitchers mound and had a picnic with enough sunflower seeds to keep the Yankees set for 3 seasons.


Eventually they showed up at Chris’s house…

They asked Des about their wine consumption, their dates and her back alignment.


Turns out Chris’s dad is a chiropractor.  So after dinner they did the next obvious thing.  A back adjustment.

In his basement office.



Also, I love how he put on his white coat and name tag to crack her back.


Shameless plug anyone?



Chris goes downstairs and his dad ADJUSTED HIS NOSE!!

It might have been the grossest, most disturbing thing I have ever seen in my life. Ever.

Horrifying, really.


I never ever want to see up someone’s nose, especially when there’s a pin, a balloon and snot involved.

Seriously I almost vomited.


Then his dad said that with his nasal adjustment it will help him in the upcoming weeks.

WHAT?  omg HOW?  omg, WHATTTTTTT??


Also, Chris’s undershirt was on backwards.  Just saying.


Next up Brooks.

Salt Lake City, UT.

Brooks appears in a bright plaid shirt walking up a hill of green grass as ABC plays their sweeping “winners only” soundtrack.


Brooks tell us that he is unsure of how he feels about Des, again.

Des made a list of things to reassure Brooks that she thinks of him often.


She says she pictures a life with Brooks filled with adventure and fun.

Am I missing something here?

Does Brooks seem adventurous?  I must have nodded off through that episode.


They show up to Brooks family’s home with Brooks in a chunky sweater a size too small.

Speaking of that…all his clothes seem too small.

Hey Brooks, it’s ok to wear a size large.


Also there are a million people in his family.

So many people they are wearing name tags.

For real.

And not on doctor’s jackets.

Like real “Hello My Name Is” name tags.



When Des heads back to LA she needs to consult her brother, Nate.  Cue the villian music.

I’m not quite sure why she needs to consult him, except for dramatic effect, because she states that she hasn’t even seem him since her hometown date with Sean.  Clearly he doesn’t play a huge part in her day-to-day life.

But ratings.


Nate clearly likes the bad-guy-who-speaks-his-mind role.

Their interaction is ridiculously tense.



Before the rose ceremony she sits down with Chris Harrison and says that she wants a proposal from Brooks.

Is there any reason to continue this show?


If I wanted spoilers I would look on Reality Steve.  Honestly, ABC. Way to make me stop caring.


As the men walk into the hotel for the rose ceremony Des’s brother Nate was literally lurking around the corner, watching.

Major creepy, dude.

I fully expected him to pop out of the bushes during the rose ceremony with a machete.


I kinda wish he did, honestly.  I mean, anything to mix it up a bit.

Sigh.  Where’s Nate when you need him?


Des decided not to give Zak the rose.

I shook my fist at this for sure.




Then gave Des the ring back.  It looked expensive, don’t you think?


So sad.

And then Zak threw the ring out the limo window.

Maybe it wasn’t expensive.



Hello ABC, please choose Zak as the next Bachelor.


Next week it’s the Men Tell All. Can. Not. Wait.

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  1. 1
    Rachel Cooks says:

    I’m with Kristan about Drew, but if I had to choose, he’s still my favorite.. I don’t really like any of these guys! And she’s so obviously choosing Brooks –she even said “I love Brooks!” Isn’t that against the rules?!

    She’s the one that has to listen to his annoying voice for the rest of her life, not me. Whatever, Des.

  2. 2
    Trish says:

    *Heartbroken* that Zak went home. He has really grown on me… kinda loving him now. I thought he was going home the first night after that whole shirtless entrance. Sigh. I agree, he needs to be the next Bachelor! AND can we just talk for a sec more about that snow cone truck?! That thing was awesome. The syrup on the OUTSIDE! OMG I would just stick my face in there and slurp it straight from the dispenser. I need to find one of those and soon.
    I wish Dez would pass on this whole Brooks thing. Clearly the girl did not read “He’s just not that into You” prior to enbarking on this journey. He’s pretty lame. It’s really a done season though, and I doubt they will still be together for the After the Final Rose show. Ugh.
    Oh, and the nose thing was awful. Just plain disgusting and really unnecessary. Shame on you, ABC.
    Love your recaps!

  3. 3
    Katriel says:

    Ugh. I am so over this season. But for some reason, I still keep reading recaps and always end up watching it later anyway. I’m addicted to the show even though it is so boring this season! And now with Zak gone? Of course I’m still going to watch the remaining shows, but I’m not going to be happy about it.

  4. 4
    Julie says:

    One of my friends posted to FB “Good thing Chris’ dad wasn’t an OB/GYN…” LOL!

    I must admit the same thought about Drew crossed my mind… & Brooks’ pants were WAY too tight! (Dude, you’re suffocating yer swimmers!) Brooks just doesn’t do it for me AT ALL! I would pick ANY of the other 3 over him. Any yeah… there is no surprise left at all. I predicted who she was giving the roses too, & even in what order!

    Maybe I’m wrong, but isn’t the Men Tell All show usually after the overnight dates (when there are only 2 men left)? Makes me wonder if the show is going to end before the Final Rose Ceremony due to the previews of Des being all distraught.

  5. 5
    Jane K says:

    I decided to save myself 2 hours this week and not watch it and just read your recap!! Glad I did because I love Zak and that would have made me sad to see him go (my 16 year old was even sad) and the nose thing is just disgusting.. I still agree about Drew and I’ve said it from the beginning … I don’t think this season is going to end well at all – - thanks for your recaps they are hysterical!!

  6. 6
    Beki G says:

    I see Drew and Brooks dancing on clouds of glitter hand in hand. She loves her men with a feminine touch. I’m disappointed with all of them, throw some testosterone in the mix. I agree Zak totally deserves to be the next Bachelor just without the singing brother and sister..awkward!

  7. 7

    Yeah, I kindof think Drew was hoping the Bachelorette was Carson Kressly. In other news, I agree that it’s annoying that this is basically all over except for the crying. I mean, this is Brooks’ to lose and it has been for quite some time. That said, I am literally already sitting on my couch waiting for Men Tell All. I’m hoping for some violence and punching so that we can watch Chris get his nose aligned again. No, wait, that’s what I’m NOT hoping for. Ever.

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